UnAlone
by icewaterdrive
Summary: Just a quick, very, very quick reaction to the end of Glee. Two more VERY quick chapters and out and yep-working on It's Not Like
1. Chapter 1

**Just a few words for the end of Glee as we know it. **

**See what you think—and yep—getting right back to It's Not Like…**

New York both was and wasn't what Rachel imagined it would be. Finn's grand gesture—putting her on a train—was and she had to admit, after crying for hours, pretty and romantic but it was ultimately a little strange. School wasn't starting for three months, after all. A summer by herself. She supposed she'd had to be gotten out of the way before he changed his mind or she changed it and that was understandable in a very 'them' way. Her dads had completely bought in and had sublet a micro-apartment for her until school and the dorms were open.

Finn texted her every day but seemed to think calling was something an ex-fiance shouldn't do. She didn't push and he hadn't been kidding. Basic training. She was a romantic but she wasn't stupid. Finn very deeply wanted something very far away from what she wanted. She hadn't known it and knowing she hadn't known her lover was thinking of things, needing things and wanting things he'd never felt able to share with her was strange. Or maybe it really ultimately wasn't. Everything felt shaken up, rattled into order and strangely hyper-real when she was all alone in New York.

Kurt texted her every day. He was funny and self-deprecating and she felt like she wanted to murder the people at NYADA because now she and Kurt had to pretend he wasn't dying inside in Lima, Ohio and she was having to pretend New York was awesome but not 'rubbing it in' awesome.

When it really wasn't. Turning over in bed night after night, she was ashamed that she wished she were home and he was here because maybe he'd handle it better than she was.

Her fathers talked to her every day. Another set of happy lies. Yes, things were great! Wow! New York!

Wow.

She was alone and friendless in the most intensely beautiful, promising and frightening city on planet Earth. A city that met her energy and punched her right back in the face with so much more than she had or was. Even though she was physically small, she'd never felt little. She felt tiny in New York. The idea of being comfortably alone and completely friendless in Lima seemed like a sweet, sweet dream.

She sang a mix of hopeful songs to herself very quietly in her little apartment every morning. Very, very quietly. So she wouldn't make her neighbors, whose faces seemed to look down on her and whose names she didn't know, mad.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray: Rachel?**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn? Wow**

**Quinn Fabray: Hi**

**Rachel Berry. Hi**

**Quinn Fabray: It's been 26 days since you left**

**Rachel Berry: I'm sort of flailing here even hearing from you but yes**

**Quinn Fabray: Don't. Don't flail. 26. 2+6 = 8. Kick eight over on its side and you have the sign for something without mathematical limit. Infinity, okay?**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Okay.**

**Quinn Fabray: That's how much I miss you**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn**

**Quinn Fabray: Rachel, can you go outside?**

**Rachel Berry: Yes**

**Quinn Fabray: Do so**

**Rachel Berry: Okay**

**Quinn Fabray: While you're walking, I hate to be the one to inform you that Lima in summer, even after graduation, is exactly as exciting as it's always been**

**Rachel Berry: Oh—well. I guess I should say sorry?**

**Quinn Fabray: You should be—you left and sucked every bit of interest out of this place**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Is this a joke?**

**Quinn Fabray: Good catch. It's called text Rachel and talk about infinity with her because it pays off for me because…oh wait…feel free…answer in your own time**

**Rachel Berry: You're completely baffling**

**Quinn Fabray: And that's a better b word than the usual for me. Are you outside yet?**

**Rachel Berry: Yes**

**Quinn Fabray: Look up—there's a full moon tonight**

**Rachel Berry: So there is**

**Quinn Fabray: I'm outside, too, okay?**

**Rachel Berry: Okay**

**Quinn Fabray: We're looking at the same moon, Rachel**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Yes**

**Quinn Fabray: You're not alone**

**Rachel Berry: How did you know I needed to know that?**

**Quinn Fabray: Because you're my friend**

**Rachel Berry: I still really find it hard to believe that **

**Quinn Fabray: Believe it**

**Rachel Berry: Okay**

**Quinn Fabray: Go inside and lock your door. Wanna watch a movie together?**

**Rachel Berry: Really?**

**Quinn Fabray: Yeah**

**Rachel Berry: Your choice. Please be snarky**

**Quinn Fabray: Looking around, up, down, behind me. When am I not?**

**Rachel Berry: Sigh. I had to write that because I just did that**

**Quinn Fabray: Sigh right back**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn**

**Quinn Fabray: Rachel**

**Rachel Berry: Shhh. I'm ordering Chinese. Find a movie**

**Quinn Fabray: Rachel?**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn?**

**Quinn Fabray: I'm smiling**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: It's so strange to be here by myself**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: But I'm going to be okay, right?**

**Quinn Fabray: Of course you are, Rachel**

Rachel smiled.

* * *

**Two more tiny chapters and out—and back to It's Not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This has a long and nerdy reference to/analogy to The X-Files. If you don't know that show, you won't get most of this but that's how I roll. If you're reading It's Not Like, you people have to know I'm ALL about the SyFy.**

* * *

**ONE MONTH LATER**

**Quinn Fabray: This is insane**

**Rachel Berry:What?**

**Quinn Fabray: This. You there—all of us here. I want to strangle Finn**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn**

**Quinn Fabray: I'm not kidding **

**Quinn Fabray: I LOVED him sending you to NY but three months early?**

**Rachel Berry: You don't hate Finn**

**Quinn Fabray:..**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn**

**Quinn Fabray: It's July now**

**Rachel Berry: Calendar Quinn!**

**Quinn Fabray: Can I come visit you?**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: There really aren't enough capitals and exclamation points for me to express really—you'll come visit?**

**Quinn Fabray: Yes**

**Rachel Berry: When?**

**Quinn Fabray: I don't care. Next weekend okay?**

**Rachel Berry: Please**

**Quinn Fabray: Then yes. I'll email with the details**

**Quinn Fabray: But please don't go insane. I'll sleep on the floor and I'll eat tofurkey—no worries, okay? Don't buy anything or do anything. Pretend we're friends and don't worry**

**Rachel Berry: I may or may not be crying**

**Quinn Fabray: Don't and btw? I just sent a stupid care package to my strangle-ee. **

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Finn keeps in touch with you?**

**Quinn Fabray: Of course he doesn't. I keep in touch with him for you. You said you guys are only texting so I sent him stuff you'd send him if you could**

**Rachel Berry: What did you send him?**

**Quinn Fabray: I baked him some cookies. Got a huge t-shirt made that reads Lima Call of Duty and a ton of relatively manly looking and smelling sunscreen because he's as pale as I am and I don't know if they'd help him out in the Army that way. Stuff like that**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: That's so nice of you, Quinn. I'm sure he'll appreciate it**

**Quinn Fabray: He'll appreciate knowing I'm doing it for you, which I made abundantly clear**

Long, long pause.

**Quinn Fabray: If you're jealous about my mailing stuff to Finn, you'll feel incredibly obtuse one day**

**Rachel Berry: Will I?**

**Quinn Fabray: Promise. Did you ever watch the X-Files?**

**Rachel Berry: I did—even the last regrettable seasons. Daddy loves it**

**Quinn Fabray: I love it too**

**Rachel Berry: Why do you ask?**

**Quinn Fabray: You're such a Mulder **

**Rachel Berry: Because?**

**Quinn Fabray: You're probably almost clinically insane. You have one goal and everyone—the entire universe—just has to suit up, show up, shut up and get behind you—or else**

**Rachel Berry: :) It doesn't feel like that these days**

**Quinn Fabray: I know it doesn't. But I'll be there next weekend**

**Rachel Berry: I can't wait**

**Quinn Fabray: Me either. Rachel?**

**Rachel Berry: Quinn?**

**Quinn Fabray: Scully**

Long, long pause.

**Quinn Fabray: Scully. X-Files five twelve. I do it all for you, Mulder. I do it all for you**

**Rachel Berry: I loved that episode**

**Quinn Fabray: Me too**

**Rachel Berry: So, you'll email me?**

**Quinn Fabray: Yes**

**Rachel Berry: Okay—I guess I better go and do my nightly dads' call**

**Quinn Fabray: Good. Tomorrow then**

**Rachel Berry: 'Night Scully**

**Quinn Fabray: 'Night, Mulder**

Long, long pause.

**Quinn Fabray: Scully always wanted to believe, too. Or maybe Mulders never understand that**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Quinn**

**Quinn Fabray: No. Goodnight, Rachel**

**Rachel Berry: Goodnight**

* * *

Rachel put her phone on her tiny bedside table, stared at it and refused to think of Quinn.

Finn would have cookies and a nice t-shirt to make him laugh and she would never, ever have thought of sunscreen because she'd never needed it in her life. But Quinn had thought of him for her just as she'd thought of Quinn so many times for him. He'd be okay.

She smiled at her phone.

He'd put his sunscreen on in that dumb way straight boys always did with 'products'—with two tentative fingers thinking anything on a guy's skin was just spreading the gay.

Putting sunscreen over all of those incredibly unforgettable freckles on his face. His arms. His legs. His hands.

She stared at her phone.

He didn't have Noah's body or Sam's or Mike's but it was _his _body and she loved it. She loved it because it was him and it housed _him_.

She began to cry.

He was doing something so scary and so far away from her. Because he needed to with all of a strange young heart she evidently knew almost nothing about.

And with that beautiful, precious body she'd knew she'd never touch again.

They were never, ever going to marry.

She cried until she made herself sick. When she'd finished throwing up, she got back into bed.

Stared at her phone.

And refused to think of Quinn.

* * *

One more tiny chapter and out. Writing It's Not Like—because it's not like I don't need to finish that, right?


	3. Chapter 3

Quickly and lastly. Marvel Comics, Silence of the Lambs and Mary Tyler Moore references, ya'll. All of this is a machine gun of drabble. Impressions of feelings. Goodbye, Glee.

* * *

She tried to explain to herself that she was merely hungry. Or starving maybe. Starving for Lima. Starving for Finn or even anyone she'd ever, ever ever known in Lima. Her parents, Kurt, Mercedes—even Karofsky. Anyone to ground her in a place she'd always wanted but where she felt so completely at sea.

It was late afternoon. But there she was. An anchor. The anchor. The prettiest girl Rachel had ever seen or known. She completely hated herself for crying because Quinn was really there. Right in front of her.

Quinn Fabray had magically, incredibly and unbelievably made a trip just to see her. Entirely and only to see her.

She felt so stupid and young that she wanted to die because it was Quinn.

But Quinn just smiled and very firmly hugged her. "We're in Grand Central Station, Rachel! This is insane! I'm so excited!"

They took her travel case to Rachel's apartment and Quinn laughed and Rachel laughed because she finally had someone to laugh with. Or for. She didn't know which.

She almost never laughed these days.

She desperately wanted to.

"Rachel—this apartment's so small it's—I don't even know—if you were just a little more Reed Richards, you could make toast while you were peeing."

"I tried—it didn't work."

"Of course you did. I want to go to Broadway, okay?"

Okay.

They took the subway.

They went to an Indian restaurant on the way.

* * *

They laughed and talked and Rachel finally, finally felt the magic of New York because she was seeing it through Quinn's eyes. New York was a dream she couldn't see once she'd gotten there. It terrified her being there. Her dream was so scary but Quinn made New York seem real—and manageable. Quinn laughed and didn't care. Except about her. Quinn cared about her.

That was scary.

They didn't really quite know what to do.

Movie.

They watched a movie.

Swimming Pool. Ozon.

* * *

"You're not sleeping on the floor!"

"Rachel—it's not even like I'm sleeping on the floor. Right next to your bed's your kitchen. I'm sleeping in the kitchen."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Your apartment is perfect, Rachel Berry. Perfectly Mini-Me."

"2300 bucks a month. Can you believe it?"

"Are you—really? Fuck."

"Yeah."

Long, long pause.

And Rachel had thought they could only do that texting.

"Please get in bed. I'm so happy you're here. Please."

As the words left her mouth she realized they sounded so lame. And needy.

Quinn didn't make a joke.

Quinn managed to stay remarkably far away from her in her tiny bed.

"Goodnight, Rachel. You're happy anyone's here. It doesn't matter that it's only me."

She turned away from Rachel.

That was so Quinn.

So always brutally accurate.

Rachel forced herself not to cry.

* * *

There was no aftermath. No emotional hangover. Breakfast was surprisingly easy and fun. Quinn had always made everything ever hard for her but she made everything here easy. Fun.

"Put a hat on Rachel—you're taking me to Times Square later."

"Why do I need a hat?"

"Trust me."

Central Park was more interesting with Quinn.

Quinn was so much more interesting than New York.

Rachel had never realized that.

She wondered where she'd actually been for the last two years.

* * *

Ethiopian food.

She'd finally made Quinn flail.

"Rachel, this is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. Can I have a civil ceremony with injera? Because why not, right? This is New York."

* * *

She felt so strange. The Village was nice. New York, with Quinn, felt real. Not scary. Real.

Quinn was haggling over a purchase.

**Rachel Berry: Finn? It puts the lotion on its skin**

She was surprised that he answered right back and staggered that he'd understood her allusion.

**Finn Hudson: Clarice? I can't believe she sent that—I'm bathing in it, baby!**

**Rachel Berry: She's fussing over a price—I'm watching.**

**Finn Hudson: Who? Q? She's with you?**

**Rachel Berry: Visiting**

**Finn Hudson: Good**

**Rachel Berry: I miss you, Finn**

**Finn Hudson: I miss you more. Sorry so quick but gotta go—don't forget to be happy, okay?**

**Rachel Berry: Finn**

**Finn Hudson: I really have to go. Really. You do too**

**Rachel Berry: Finn**

**Finn Hudson: Love you! Jump team! Army Rangers!**

**Rachel Berry: Finn**

Long, long pause.

**Finn Hudson: Please. I love you forever. Please just please let's stop**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: Okay. Right. Go. Jump out of a plane if that's what you want to do—you're crazy!**

**Finn Hudson: I love you so much. Please jump 2. Please. Talk to you after, buddy**

Long, long pause.

**Rachel Berry: I'm happy we're still buds**

**Finn Hudson: Until the day I die, Rachel**

And then Quinn smiled at her. Five bucks off the price on the blouse.

* * *

Times Square at dusk.

Rachel came here every other day to feel exhilarated. And always after, a little crushed.

Quinn was more incandescent than the lights that had always nearly overwhelmed her. She didn't know why she hadn't known that.

Quinn shocked her. Shocked as in real shock when she suddenly broke into song. And really, really, embarrassingly loudly.

_Who can turn the world on with her smile?  
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?  
Well it's you girl, and you should know it  
With each glance and every little movement you show it_

Quinn seemed to think Times Square was meant for her because she just swung her arms wide and danced without a care in the world.

_Love is all around, no need to waste it  
You can have a town, why don't you take it  
You're gonna make it after all  
You're gonna make it after all _

Quinn didn't lower her voice for the next verse. Rachel would have. It didn't matter.

_How will you make it on your own?  
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone  
But it's time you started living  
It's time you let someone else do some giving  
_

Quinn was singing and no one cared.

New York didn't care that Quinn was singing. Loudly—crazily. But Rachel had to admit. Singing well, with none of the pitchy problems of the past. They'd have to talk about how that had happened.

New York didn't care that she was lonely. New York didn't care that she didn't know what she was doing. New York didn't care that her fiancé was gone. Forever. New York was New York and would always be New York.

And she was Rachel Barbra Berry.

_Love is all around, no need to waste it  
You can have a town, why don't you take it  
You're gonna make it after all  
You're gonna make it after all_

Rachel suddenly understood why Quinn had asked her to wear a hat and with last line of Quinn's song, she threw it into the air. Throwing it all in. Her dreams, her hopes, her life. All in.

New York! She was in New York!

* * *

They held hands on the subway home.

Hours later, Quinn kissed her on the cheek as they went to bed.

Rachel simply said, "You're kidding, right?"

Quinn laughed.

Rachel laughed.

Finally.

New York.


End file.
